It's time to start...

Okay. So my goal is to change the world one relationship at a time by helping people learn to communicate better, right? Till now, I've done this as an employee within different organizations. But now I've decided to step out on my own because I think I can reach more people this way. Scary? Yes. But I've recently learned about brick walls from Randy Pausch (see previous posting titled: "Learning, only days after first learning, how much I need to learn"), so I'm ready to start. I've seen five clients so far, and have nine more scheduled. That makes me happy.

Interestingly, I've found that I don't have to teach actual skills as much as help people learn more about themselves: their behavioral tendencies, their values & motivators, and whether their behavior matches what they value.

Sometimes, people's behaviors don't match what they value. In other words, they say one thing yet do another. This can be confusing for themselves, and for the people they want to get along with. For instance, if you value helping others, but behave like a dictator, you might feel frustrated when people walk the other way when they see you. However, once you understand your behavioral tendencies and values, and start to 'walk your talk,' you'll feel good about yourself and will seem much more approachable to others.

I like to use the DiSC Personal Profile to help people learn about their behavioral tendencies (it's not a label, just a description of people's tendencies). The letters D I S C stand for: Dominance, Influence, Steadindess, and Compliance and measures the unique blend of these four qualities within you. One tendency isn't better than any other - each simply exists and helps to make you a unique individual. Once people understand their tendencies, their behavior starts to make sense.

I also like to use an assessment called the PIAV, which stands for personal interests (PI), attitudes(A), and values (V) using an assessment. The PIAV identifies the unique forces within you that affect how you behave and how others perceive you. It's important to identify what you value - this helps you to realize whether or not you're on track to achieve things in life that are important to you, and whether your behavior is consistent with what you value. Together with the DiSC, both assessments paint a clearer portrait of who you are and why you do the things you do.

The beauty of the DiSC and the PIAV is that they give people an objective, non-threatening language with which to discuss their own (and each other's) behavior. Of course, this works best if the people you deal with take the assessments, too. I find that this universal language keeps relationships moving in a positive direction. Without it, we often resort to what we're used to hearing or doing like name-calling, stereotyping, blaming, and/or other destructive behaviors. What I've seen is that people who take the DiSC and PIAV love to learn about themselves and are eager to use this new knowledge to improve their relationships both on, and off, the job.

So, the next few sessions will be a great learning experience for me - and, I hope for my clients.